Overstimulated

Yesterday I had to go to the mall. That is something I am against doing. But it is sometimes necessary-- so I gathered my courage and walked right in, with two little daughters in tow. As I entered the loud, crowded corridor, I immediately felt the usual angst and discomfort I have always felt, ever since I can remember.
As I take it all in, I ask myself, "Why do I dislike malls so much?" Most of my of my friends enjoy them! And many friends have worked at them! And liked it!
"Why don't I like this?" I think to myself. "Why don't I like this?"
This is a question I have asked many times, and never found the right answer. "Will I find it today?" I wonder. "Let's see."
I am confused. I look around. "Ugh, where am I?? Shoot! I entered in at the wrong door again!" I change my direction and speed up my pace to a quick, urgent one, because my destination is actually on the other side of the maze, I mean mall.
The girls are loving the whole deal. They wish I would slow down. Their eyes are trying to take it all in. They can't get enough of it. They keep wanting to stop. They want to touch stuff. I keep them steady; I am on a mission.
"Why don't I like this?" I ask myself again. Some red high heels catch my eyes. I stop to look. The girls contentedly study all the nearby shoes. Melia loves the shiny ones, the ones with buckles, the ones with bows. Sophie wants to use them to make cracking noises on the glass table. I want the red shoes. I see a sale sign. "Oooh, maybe I could!..." I think. I hold my breath. I peer underneath the shoe at the red marker scrawled over the original sticker price.
I let my breath out. The shoes are still $59. "NO WAY." I whisper sternly and quietly to the shoe. I walk out.
"I know." I say to myself. "Malls are too expensive." My eyes widen. I inhale quickly. "That's it! The reason I dislike malls is because they're a tease! ...right?"
"Hmmm....no. That's not it at all." I know that malls are cool. I know why they are cool. I can't say that I don't like them just because I can't afford everything I want. That is ridiculous. I am just uncomfortable. But then I am onto something there, I must admit. I hate feeling like I want everything in sight. It makes me feel bratty...and then it makes me feel poor when I can't satisfy all my wants.
"So is that it, then?" Is it because malls make me feel poor?"
Hmmm...another thought. "Is it because I feel ugly and plain when looking at all the pretty models and coordinating outfits?" Hmmm...now I could really be onto something.
These answers ...are all part of it...but they still aren't it. Because I can't hate the mall for having too much pretty stuff to look at--I like pretty stuff. I like the big displays and the interesting decors and the matching color schemes. Beauty is a good thing, right.
"But too much beauty is not a good thing. Too much of anything is not a good thing."
And that is when the true answer hits me of why I don't like malls. One word. In my brain.

"Overstimulating."

"...Yes, yes, THAT'S IT!"


I know-- overstimulating.

The first time I ever heard it was when my older sister used it to describe her baby's toy time limits when he was a few months old. I thought it was such a cheesy, nerdy word. But then I have used it myself since becoming a mother. When Melia is overstimulated, she has night terrors.
And so it is with me. When I am overstimulated, my brain goes into hyperactive mode. (Suddenly, my brain is no longer clearly thinking about the task at hand: you know, buying what I came in for. No, this is an example of what is happening in my overstimulated, hyperactive head: that shirt is sooo cute, i love how it fits, is it a good style though? Will I wear it enough, is it practical? ugh can I afford it? I really shouldn't be spending any money right now, am I just satisfying my clothing lust? Jeez annie give it a rest you buy like 5 new shirts a year, for all four seasons just buy it, am I poor? No i am not I am rich--there are people starving and I am here at this mall suffering intense inner turmoil over a style of shirt-of which my body may look ridiculous in it after I wash it or when I stand in the wrong light--oh my gosh did you see what that girl had on (or what she didn't) and is hanging out I can see that our society is too loose, and too unhealthy, oh what can I do to raise my children right, am I ignoring these people in society that have problems, should I volunteer somewhere because we must work through these class systems in society, there is so much misunderstanding in the world and I am such a bad person for not doing anything about it here I am looking at this stupid shirt, oh I hate it now I'll just walk away, but it is what I came here to buy in the first place! But jeez if I would just work out more I would look way better in it. Aah this store is just so perfect. I hate it. why can't I decorate like this? is this stuff superficial Blah blah blah blah blah blah!)

OVER STIMULATION. That's it, people. Malls have WAY too much going on. There is too much to look at, too much to try out/try on, too many temptations, and too much decision making! (Sigh)

I think about it more and more and it makes total sense. Of course! No wonder I get such a kick out of being in nature, running by myself, reading a book, going on a drive, taking naps. I am a slow-going, keep it cool kind of girl that prefers peace and quiet wherever I can get it! That stuff is easy!

And furthermore, there are other things I like a ton, but in reality, can't enjoy as much because they, too, are a lot to take in and think about at once: amusement parks, magazines, airports, teaching (meaning in schools), going to concerts, party planning, big cities, and fashion, to name just a few.
(another sigh).

I love people. I love things. Just not a bunch of them all crowded together in the same space. I can't think straight.!Yuk. I like my peace.

It is nice to know I am still figuring myself out, at age 27.

Well done, Annie. Well done.

Respect the Van

We sold our Jimmy yesterday for $1400. We think that was a generous price! Good-bye, Jimmy!

We plan to buy a van soon.

My Dandelion Daughters

My sister, Audrey took these pictures of my girls while they were staying at her house during my Hyde/Knudsen Sister's Retreat in April. The girls were picking flowers for me before heading off to the zoo! Aren't they sweet?! The dog is Audrey's cocker spaniel, Caroline.

Danny in China

Danny has had two 10-day China trips so far this year. I think he has one more coming up in May. I hope it is a short one. The shortest amount of time he has been over there before is 6 days. I am crossing my fingers for three...

Birthdays

Danny and Melia recently celebrated their birthdays, which are back to back on April 29 and 30. We had a good time. I love them so much!!!

Something I like about Melia: She is sensitive to people's feelings and a pretty little singer.
Something I like about Danny: He is fun to be around, very smart, and he loves me even for my flaws.

Please write a little note to say what you like about these two!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

My Trip to Utah

While Danny was gone on another business trip, I did something I had never done before: the girls and I drove to Utah! I stayed at Shannon's house for three days, where I was pampered and loved and very comfortable. She watched my girls while I ran the SLC 1/2 with Kristen. We also got to go out to eat with my dad and no kids (minus Beth, darn it) and take our kids to the Aquarium.

Beth and Audrey and their families came over and we played a game (my favorite). I liked going to church with Shannon and Jeff and observing their lives in their new ward and neighborhood. I also got to go to the Tulip Festival with Kristen and Kim, visit Beth at work, and spend an evening with Ryan and Candy and their kids. I loved to see everybody, including all the children!

I stayed a few days at my dad's and even spent an afternoon with the newlyweds--I got to see Wendy's son play at his baseball game for Jordan High, take a tour of Wendy's condo in Midvale, and go to dinner with the happy couple. And the fun didn't stop there because I ended the trip by sending my girls to spend a night at Audrey's house, then Beth's, while I partied with the Hyde and Knudsen sisters in Park City. It was the fastest ten days ever!!! A great way to pass Danny's travel time to China! Why have I never done this before?

My Many Sisters

I AM A LUCKY GIRL!
I got to have TWO Sister's Retreats recently, no kids, all fun! In March I got to go to Midway and Park City with my sisters, and then in April with my sister-in-laws and cousin-in-laws in Park City.

ELKINGTON GIRLS:

From left to right: Heather, Shannon, my dad, Beth's son, Jackson, Beth, me, Audrey
My dad took us out to lunch first before heading off! What a treat!

We ate out, laughed a TON, watched a movie, worked out, got pampered at the spa, visited my dad's almost-wife, Wendy, shopped, did crafts, and took lots of pictures! I don't think we have ever had so much fun!

We didn't have Audrey with us though, and missed her. My mom would have loved this, too.

HYDE/KNUDSEN GIRLS:

From left to right: Christie (and unborn baby girl), Karen, Sarah, Shelly, then Kelsie and Heather Knudson, and me

Heather, Kami, Wendy, Kelsie Knudsen, and Anne Hyde

These pictures will have to do, as I don't have any with all of us together! We ate out, cruised Main Street, visited Wendy, beaded, beaded, beaded, made little hair clips, went hot tubbing, saw a live show, and stayed up late! Oh and Shelly announced she is expecting!

I loved the chance to get to know ALL of these women better. I am very blessed to have their friendship, support, advice, and love. I love them all! Thanks for all the planning, everyone!

Summer Bobs

Before:

After:

I LOVE long hair! But I can't put up with any more brush fights!

...I am still in mourning over Melia's long, beautiful locks.

They were really pretty when all done up.


Melia had a hard time yesterday, too. When we got in the car after getting her hair cut, she said "I change my mind, Mom!" Then she cried and cried as she held her hair with both hands, "My hair is gone! ...I not a boy!"

It broke my heart. Thank Heavens that today she felt better after it took us less than one minute to do.

The New Bosch!

I have been wanting one of these for years! This one belonged to my mother. It is the same Bosch I learned to make cookies in. Not only is it great at mixing large amounts at a time, but it also has a blender and food processor, wheat grinder, pasta maker, and food mill attachments.
I plan on doing lots of baking and bread making over the years! I can't wait to get started grinding my own wheat! Thank you to my sisters for letting me have it! Hooray!!!

Fernley Half-Marathon

I ran the Fernley Half Marathon again. I wasn't going to, but my next door neighbor, Brandolyn, talked me into it again, just like last year. Then Karen decided she was in too, and I couldn't back out! So here we are below, almost a mile into the run.

I am glad that the first and last mile of the course go right past my house, because I had to use the bathroom and fix my ipod! It is good Danny was there to help me. I didn't know how to turn it on!

Here we are after the race, happy to be done!

Something memorable about the run: On my last mile back, I was running as quickly as I could down my street because I wanted to beat two hours and was very close. As I approached my house, Danny was loading the girls in the stroller to come meet me at the high school. My cute running partner, Rex, my wilderness guard dog, saw me, and bounded excitedly out of the garage. He was so excited that he jumped out in front of me and tripped me (yes he tripped my red faced, heart pounding, jello legs, sprinting-last-mile self). Next, a race official managed to grab onto him and hold him for a second until Danny could get him, because dogs aren't supposed to be on school grounds. But Rex got away and bounded after me faster than Danny had ever seen him run. He stayed right with me onto the finish line and it took him 10 or 15 minutes to catch his breath! Our family went home when an official told us to remove our dog a few minutes after that because he "was causing a problem." He was standing in the middle of my family and Karen's, happily wagging his tail, panting, with Jackson hugging his neck! Danny copped a little attitude at the woman of course and then we left.